It Never Went Away Not Completely
by sparklewand
Summary: Pansy knew she loved Draco, but was he really what she needed?
1. Chapter 1

"Pansy." She was sitting on his bed, curled up in a ball. Her hair was messed up and her tights laddered, yet somehow, even in this ragged state she still exuded the steelyness that Draco loved. At her name she looked up, her eyes wide with terror and glistening with the remnants of tears.

"What happened?", she asked in a quiet, monotone. Draco wanted to reply but it felt as though his brain was blocking the words from forming so he merely shook his head. "Fine then, I'll tell you what happened to me." With the anger brought on by Draco's silence, her voice gained some of the swagger that had been lost through the fear wracking her body. "Potter was flouncing around as usual, then The Dark Lord's voice started inside our heads. He told us no-one had to die if we gave up Potter, which I thought was a perfectly acceptable trade, so I said so. Then they took us to the dungeons, you know the big one, and locked us in. There was a lot of pushing and shouting and Goyle got angry and started punching the door, before the blundering fool remembered he was a wizard and blew it out. By then the enchantments had broken, so I apparated here."

Draco, although slightly thawed by the comfort brought on by Pansy's bitter ramblings which had always consoled him, still couldn't talk. All he could do was sit next to her, staring at his emerald sheets. After several long moments, Pansy's patience was weaning. She wanted information. Needed it. She had no idea what had happened. To the Dark Lord, to Potter, to her family, to Draco. Her world could either be broken or stronger than ever and not knowing was driving her insane. She wanted to be angry at him for his muteness but she was finding it extremely weary. She could tell he was in pain by the way he was holding his shoulders and Draco's pain always seem to radiate from him and seep into her veins like smoke, burning them. However she needed to know what had gone on. "Draco, please tell me what happened."

He breathed in deep and turned his head. The desperation in her voice had broken down the barrier in his mind. "He's gone. The Dark Lord. Potter killed him. It's over." The impact of these words hit her hard like a hammer and the consequences of this outcome, which had always lurked in the back of her mind, haunting her dreams, overtook her, becoming all she could see.

"Draco…" her voice shook. "We're going there aren't we. Azka-"

"Don't say it."

"What else happened. Tell me everything."

"I can't, Pansy. Not yet."

"You have to!" Pansy was on her feet now, her voice raised, her frozen blood starting to heat up. "You can't not tell me Draco. I need to know. Stop being so selfish for once in your life. How bad was the battle?"

"Bad." Draco forced himself to respond.

"Who died?"

"On our side?"

"Yes."

"My aunt, Crabbe, Thicknesse, Nott's father, Rowle, Greyback." he paused before adding, "Snape."

"Oh." she swallowed. "My parents?"

"They're alive. My mother was with them, until after the fighting stopped. They apparated home just before we did."

"Good."

"The other side had more casualties than us. One of the Weasleys, that wretched -"

"I don't care." She sat back down. They sat in silence for a bit, just as they always had when one of them was upset. Both Pansy and Draco didn't like to talk about their feelings. The silence was broken by Draco's sobs. Pansy reached up, putting her arms around his neck and pulling him down, so they were lying next to each other, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. He smelled of smoke mingled with his clean yet manly smell and his warmth comforted her more than anything else ever could. After several minutes, or was it hours, Draco's tears started to stop.

"Draco, I should go home." Pansy's voice was quiet again, which concerned Draco more than the prospect of the future could. He nodded knowing that it would be better for her if she left but he wanted to stay enveloped in her spicy, sweet smell for as long as he could. Pansy stood up and picked her wand up off the floor. She walked away from the bed, her muscles stiff and her head heavy. She closed her eyes as she prepared to apparate, aware of how hot they were.

"Pans?"

"Yes?"

"We'll be okay, won't we?" She opened her eyes and he was standing in front of her, his hand outstretched. She wrapped her fingers in his and he pulled her close, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"I hope so.", was all she could say.

"I love you." His voice was stronger, more sure than it had been all night. He felt as if his love for her was all he could be certain of anymore.

"I love you, too. I'll see you soon." She dropped his hand and apparated back to her home.


	2. Chapter 2

Pansy's legs shook as she stood at her bathroom sink, staring in the decadent mirror above it. Her face was white and her eyes glazed. It felt as though someone had turned the lights off in her head. She knew that at that moment Draco, the only thing that had significance in her life anymore, may or may not be sentenced to life imprisonment in Azkaban, yet her mind was so blank she couldn't bring herself to care. Caring was not one of her strong points to begin with but when she was upset or nervous nothing in the world mattered to her. It probably was a defence mechanism but Pansy suspected that she was just a bad person.

Pansy and her family had not been accused of Death Eater activity but most of their friends had. The only exceptions were the Zabinis and the Greengrasses. Pansy had only found out about Draco's trial that morning, when she decided to visit him at Malfoy Manor. She'd found him curled up in a ball in his bathroom, sobbing. She held him for hours until he finally told her what was to happen later in the day. Of course she was hurt that he hadn't told her about such an important event but she understood why he hadn't. He was scared, terrified even, and Draco couldn't bring himself to mention it.

She turned around, walked to the shower and turned it on. She took off her robe and teseted the temperature of the water. As she started to unbutton her pyjama shirt, she heard the tell-tale crack of apparition, just outside the bathroom door. She walked out of the door, too numb to muster up the energy needed to run. He was hurtling towards her before she had time to get a proper look at him. His arms lifted her up and he span her in circles, laughing with glee. He put her down on the ground and took her face in his hands. As she looked into his handsome, smiling face, the light suddenly broke through her mind, dazzling her so much she couldn't speak.

"I'm free." he told her. "My family and I were cleared." His voice was quiet but light and as she became less dumbstruck, reality started to hit her.

"Draco." he beamed at her when she said his name and he bent down, crushing his lips to hers in a way that he hadn't in so long. It was sweet and full of content and not the bitterness and desperation that she had become accustomed to over the past two years. Whilst they were kissing Draco felt as if his world had clicked into place. Finally he was free, free of the Dark Lord, free of the fear and angst, free to carry on with his life and to be happy. It was as if they were back in their fifth year at school. Just two teenagers, who loved each other madly, gossiping and laughing with each other and sneaking kisses when they thought others weren't looking.

"Tell me everything." Pansy demanded, reminiscent of her old, curious self.

Draco explained how Potter had told the Wizengamont how Draco had saved him at Malfoy Manor and how he and his family were only staying with Voldemort to prevent him murdering them. Whilst the majority of the jury had wished for the Malfoys to be imprisoned, in the end it was Potter's opinion that counted. "Of course, everyone had to agree with Saint Potter. I thank him for saving me from going to Azkaban, don't get me wrong, but my God, I hate him." Pansy giggled and the sound sounded unnatural. She wrapped herself tighter around him and sighed.

"You alright, baby?" he asked

"I'm great," she looked up and smiled at him, so to reassure him. "Just tired, that's all."

"Well then." He lifted her off her feet again and she wrapped her legs around her waist. He carried her to her bed and laid her down before curling up next to her.

"Ah, that's better." her bed was warm and Draco's presence next to her was so relaxing that she felt her whole body unwind and all the stress she had felt in the past two years seemed to float away, as if she had let go of a balloon. Her only worry now was her and Draco's relationship and how things were going to turn out for them. She loved him so much it consumed her, but they had changed and there was no point in denying it.

"Draco?"

"Yeah?" his voice was thick and Pansy could tell he was just as, if not more tired than her.

"Promise me that we're going to try and make us work."

"Of course we are. I love you and I want to be with you and that's all that matters." He squeezed her tighter and after a few moments, his breathing became deeper and Pansy knew he was asleep. Pansy thought about what he had said and she couldn't help but think that loving someone and wanting to be with them may not be all that mattered.


End file.
